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In the Beginnings — From Cavemen to Cities

Cunk on Earth · S01E01 · clip 8:03 · 13 words · 7 idioms

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Before You Watch

The story

Philomena Cunk is a fake TV reporter. She presents a history documentary with a very serious face — but she keeps saying silly things. In this clip, she tells the story of early humans: how they invented tools, fire, cave paintings and farming, up to the first city in Mesopotamia (Iraq today).

How to watch

This is British 'deadpan' humour: saying silly things with a serious face.

After you watch, we will explain the jokes — no spoilers here.

Words to notice — know these before you watch:

early humans tools fire cave painting farming city

Predict: Look at the keywords. What do you think this clip is about?

Background reading (1 minute)

Humans appeared millions of years ago. At first, they lived by hunting animals and collecting plants. Three inventions changed everything: STONE TOOLS (work became easier), FIRE (warmth, light at night, cooking) and FARMING (about 10,000 years ago — no more hunting, people could stay in one place). When people settled down, villages grew into cities. The first cities were in Mesopotamia (Iraq today). The clip tells exactly this story — but in a funny way.

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Watch 1 — with subtitles

— catch the main idea
Watched 0% of the clip — aim for 70% before Watch 2 unlocks.

Subtitles ON. Watch the whole clip once, then answer:

Watch once (no subtitles). What is the main story of the clip?

Why was it funny?

Cunk interviews REAL experts and asks them crazy questions ('Was Early Man made of beef or pork?'). The fun part: the experts stay polite and try to answer seriously. She also invents words: 'inventorers' (correct: inventors), 'clevernauts', 'expertists' — they sound real, but they are not. Don't learn these fake words — they are the joke!

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Transcript

— tap a line to replay that sentence

yellow = vocabulary to learn · blue = idioms / phrasal verbs · purple = grammar

0:09 This is our planet.
0:11 Planet Earth.
0:13 It's a planet I'm literally on right now, and unless you're watching this on a long-haul flight or while falling off a building, chances are you are, too.
0:22 This is the incredible story of how humankind transformed our world from being a load of pointless nature like this to full of modern things like this...
0:32 ..and how it did it using nothing more than its hands...
0:37 ..and its imagination, and also tools and electricity and the internet.
0:42 It's a journey that'll take me to every corner of the globe money and pandemic travel restrictions would allow, getting up close to some of our species most stunning achievements.
0:54 And I'll be asking questions...
0:56 Who are you?
0:58 ..to leading academics, clevernauts and expertists who will help me unlock the mystery of human civilisation.
1:04 Why do they say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built when it's obviously just big bricks in a triangle?
1:12 This is not just the story of the planet we live in.
1:15 This is the story of the world we live on. Or both.
1:19 So, join me, Philomena Cunk, for a landmark look at the world we built together.
1:24 This is Cunk on Earth!
1:44 For billions of years, there was no civilisation on Earth.
1:47 Just animals, plants and gases, getting on and mingling.
1:51 Must have been beautiful, but also boring.
1:55 Until along came a creature that would change all that - human man.
2:00 Was Early Man similar to us?
2:02 I mean, was he made out of the same sort of meat that we are?
2:06 You know, did it have a brand name like beef or pork?
2:10 As far as we can tell, they were made out of the same stuff as us.
2:13 All we have is bones, of course, and they're exactly the same as our bones.
2:17 We can only assume that the bones were encased in flesh, something like ours, but I'm not aware of any kind of brand name that they would have had. So it would have just been flesh?
2:26 Just flesh, I think, yes.
2:28 It would be hard to come up with a brand name for human flesh, wouldn't it?
2:33 "HuF"?
2:37 We often assume early men were stupid because they had big eyebrows and said, "Ug," but in fact they were pioneering inventorers.
2:46 They were the first men to use tools, which is something most men have forgotten how to do today, which is why they have to get someone in - a real man.
2:56 How did Early Man make tools whilst walking on all fours?
3:01 Well, we don't think that they walked on all fours for too long.
3:05 We're pretty sure they were walking upright for at least the last two million years.
3:09 So, did they make the tools with their front legs or their hind legs?
3:13 Well, I don't think humans have ever been very good at making things with their feet, so, yes, it would have been the front legs that they used for making tools. Right.
3:21 So, in leg terms, it would have been their top legs? Yes.
3:23 I think they would certainly have used the top legs for making tools, or arms and hands as we call them today.
3:31 One thing they did invent was fire, which allowed them to see at night and kept them warm, tragically prolonging their already tedious lives.
3:40 But they had to invent something to do during the long, boring evenings, and that something was art.
3:49 I'm entering a cave, not by mistake or because I'm a wolf...
3:54 ..but because I've been specifically asked to come here by the producers to look at cave art.
4:01 Cave paintings like these are one of the first examples of civilisation on Earth.
4:10 Don't worry, it gets better.
4:13 Early cave artists started out painting whatever was close to hand, like their hands.
4:18 Then, they branched out into stories.
4:21 Initially, just boring stories about cows standing still.
4:25 But soon they began creating white-knuckle fight scenes like this.
4:29 Humans versus cows 2D.
4:32 To a caveman, this was the thrilling equivalent of Fast and Furious Part 7.
4:37 Have any of the cave paintings been adapted into films?
4:41 Suppose they couldn't get the rights anyway, though, could they?
4:44 Film-making, obviously, arose much, much later than the end of the cave paintings.
4:49 So, there hasn't been a cave wall that's been like, "Oh, my God, that's an incredible story.
4:53 "We need to get Steven Spielberg to make this"?
4:56 It would be hard to come up with a story that would last an hour and a half based on just one panel in a cave.
5:02 Some believe these violent images were painted as religious acts intended to bring good luck in upcoming battles.
5:08 We don't know why humankind was at war with the cows and, tragically, we never will.
5:13 In fact, we'll probably never even know the name of the artist or these cows, because whoever painted this is almost certainly dead now.
5:22 Hunting animals every day was a pain in the arse until someone came up with the idea of also eating plants, which were easier to catch because they couldn't run away.
5:34 This simple act of laziness led to the invention of farming, a huge leap forwards, which was now more dangerous because you might land on one of the farming implements that were suddenly lying around.
5:47 The early farmers grew wheat and learned to bake bread.
5:51 They also grew barley, peas and lentils, so they could have made a passable vegan burger to put inside the bread but, luckily, they didn't have to.
6:00 Because they'd also invented this - the fence.
6:04 A high-tech wooden machine for containing animals.
6:08 Humans quickly enslaved sheep, chickens, goats and their number one enemies, the cows.
6:15 Farms became a lot like zoos.
6:17 Except, of course, in a zoo, you can't pick out an animal you like the look off and kill it and eat it.
6:22 Unless, perhaps, the zoo itself is struggling financially and the owner's lost all hope.
6:28 Humans turned animals they couldn't eat or ride into pets if they were pretty enough.
6:33 Early Man domesticated dogs for companionship...
6:38 ..and cats for whatever we have cats for.
6:41 This was the first time in history life could be described as cosy.
6:46 People lived in proper houses, which soon grew to become cities.
6:51 It's hard to believe I'm walking through the ruins of the first-ever city, because I'm not.
6:55 That's in Iraq, which is miles away and fucking dangerous.
6:59 But the remains of it look pretty much like this, so you'd never know I wasn't actually there if I wasn't telling you now by accident.
7:07 Today, it's just a dismal load of bricks and dust, but if you use a modern computer to simulate what it used to look like, the results are nothing short of breathtaking.
7:18 Civilisation had begun.
7:21 Who invented civilisation?
7:24 Civilisation wasn't something that was invented or something that started abruptly.
7:31 We talk about civilisation once humans started agriculture, once they started building cities and creating laws.
7:42 That was something that happened gradually in different parts of the world rather than just being invented suddenly. Yeah.
7:48 So, it wasn't just one man who wanted to remain anonymous?
7:53 No. Cos that would be something we shouldn't go along with if it was.
7:57 Do you mean we shouldn't go along...?
8:00 If it was one man who wants to remain anonymous, there's something a bit shifty about that, isn't there?
8:06 So, civilisation was invented in Mesopotamia by person or persons unknown.
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Vocabulary

— tap a card to see the meaning, then check yourself

Warm checks: 0/13

humankind/ˈhjuːmənkaɪnd/
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all human beings as a group
“This is the incredible story of how humankind transformed our world.”
transform/trænsˈfɔːm/
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to change something completely
“...how humankind transformed our world.”
civilisation/ˌsɪvəlaɪˈzeɪʃn/
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an organized human society with cities, laws and culture
“For billions of years, there was no civilisation on Earth.”
stunning/ˈstʌnɪŋ/
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extremely beautiful or surprising
“...getting up close to some of our species' most stunning achievements.”
achievement/əˈtʃiːvmənt/
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something great that someone has done successfully
“...our species' most stunning achievements.”
creature/ˈkriːtʃə/
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any living thing that is not a plant
“Until along came a creature that would change all that — human man.”
invent/ɪnˈvent/
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to make or design something completely new
“One thing they did invent was fire.”
domesticate/dəˈmestɪkeɪt/
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to tame an animal to live with people
“Early Man domesticated dogs for companionship.”
companionship/kəmˈpænjənʃɪp/
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the nice feeling of being with someone
“Early Man domesticated dogs for companionship.”
gradually/ˈɡrædʒuəli/
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slowly, over a long period of time
“That was something that happened gradually in different parts of the world.”
ruins/ˈruːɪnz/
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the broken remains of old buildings
“...walking through the ruins of the first-ever city.”
breathtaking/ˈbreθteɪkɪŋ/
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so beautiful or surprising it takes your breath away
“...the results are nothing short of breathtaking.”
tedious/ˈtiːdiəs/
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boring and lasting too long
“...tragically prolonging their already tedious lives.”
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Idioms & Phrasal Verbs

chances are idiom it is very likely “...chances are you are, too.”
come up with phrasal verb to think of an idea or a plan “...until someone came up with the idea of also eating plants.”
branch out (into) phrasal verb to start doing something new or different “Then, they branched out into stories.”
a pain in the arse idiom something very annoying (informal British!) “Hunting animals every day was a pain in the arse.”
a huge leap forward(s) idiom a big improvement or progress “...the invention of farming, a huge leap forwards.”
nothing short of idiom truly; used to emphasise how extreme something is “...the results are nothing short of breathtaking.”
go along with phrasal verb to accept or agree with something “...that would be something we shouldn't go along with.”
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Grammar Spotlight

Find the pattern: Three lines from the clip: “these violent images WERE PAINTED as religious acts” — “how the pyramids WERE BUILT” — “civilisation WASN'T INVENTED”. What do they have in common?

Past passive: was/were + past participle

We use the passive when the ACTION is more important than WHO did it. Past passive = was/were + past participle (V3). Documentaries use it a lot, because they talk about things done long ago — often nobody knows who did them.

• Some believe these violent images were painted as religious acts. (Who painted them? We don't know — and it doesn't matter.)

• Civilisation wasn't something that was invented. (Nobody 'invented' it.)

• Why do they say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built? (The pyramids = the object, so we use passive.)

Learn more: English Grammar in Use — Passive units

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Watch 2 — with subtitles

— hear the details

Subtitles ON again. Answer the detail questions. Use “Replay this bit” if you need it:

1. According to the clip, what did fire allow early humans to do?

2. What did early cave artists paint FIRST?

3. Which invention kept animals in one place?

4. Where was the first city?

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Practice

— tap an answer, get instant feedback
Exercises: 0/0 answered · 0 correct

Understand the story

1. Why does Cunk say early people invented art?

2. According to the expert, how did civilisation begin?

3. Why is farming described as 'this simple act of laziness'?

14. Play this bit. How does the expert say civilisation began?

True or False

4. Cave artists started by painting their own hands.

5. Cunk is really standing in Iraq when she talks about the first city.

6. Early humans kept cats because cats are very useful.

Fill the gap

7. Humans quickly ______ sheep, chickens, goats and their number one enemies, the cows.

8. Early Man ______ dogs for companionship.

Word meanings

9. 'The results are nothing short of BREATHTAKING.' — breathtaking means:

10. '...prolonging their already TEDIOUS lives.' — tedious means:

12. Which word means: “so impressive it almost stops your breathing”?

Match the phrases

11. Match each phrase with its meaning — tap a phrase on the left, then tap its meaning on the right:

Grammar in use

13. Which line uses the past passive (was/were + past participle)?

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Final listen — no subtitles

— prove what you remember

Subtitles locked OFF

Subtitles are OFF. Prove what stuck from Cunk's history lesson.

1. Catch the line

Tap ▶ to hear each line. The box ticks only after it finishes playing.

  • This is our planet. Planet Earth.▶
  • chances are you are, too▶
  • For billions of years, there was no civilisation on Earth.▶
  • They were the first men to use tools.▶
  • One thing they did invent was fire.▶
  • Then, they branched out into stories.▶
  • ...a huge leap forwards▶
  • Civilisation had begun.▶

2. What did they say?

1. According to Cunk, what did fire allow early humans to do?

2. What did early cave artists paint first?

3. How does Cunk end the farming-to-city story?

3. Put the lines in order

Listen once, then tap the lines in the order you hear them.

Final listen score will appear here when you finish.

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